I'm so fucking centered right now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
