I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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