i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
