Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize