What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
