i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
