Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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