I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He better not be in your backpack
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
