Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
