there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
