Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
