remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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