fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
