Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
