I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
