One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize