whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
