whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
wow bdsm is so cute
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