How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
