It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
