you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
