I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
