Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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