I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
