you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
