didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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