My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
