That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We're too hungover to prance.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
