Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
