So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
