Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
