i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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