May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
