I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
