I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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