her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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