I cannot find my penis.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
