marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize