Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
