As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
