So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
