You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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