Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
