I bet he comes in French.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
