You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
