508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
