ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
