Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize