speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
