I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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