..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
