You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Randomize
