if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
