Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
