Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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