Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
