I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
