the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
