Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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