just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
