is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
