I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize