Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
