was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
