He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
