You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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