What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think I died a long time ago.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize