walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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