Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
