Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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